Do you know the best way to desanitize a thing?

Let the big man touch it!

Teens and Alcohol: Getting To The Heart Of The Matter Part 3

Let me begin by apologizing for the long delay on this post. Between an earlier problem with one of my kidneys and seminary classes starting back I have been unable to contribute much to the blog. Thankfully, things have settled down now and returned to normal. I am back into the swing of poopy diapers, greek parsing, teaching youth, and t-rex rides. At any rate, here is my third installment of the teens and alcohol series.

When I oringinally conceived of this series of posts on teens and alcohol I intended to conclude with Post #3. The first post adressed the age old question of why we do what we do by showing how important it is to consider our motivations. The second post sought to show that our motivations flow from a worshipful heart, yet that heart has been twisted by sin so much so that its worship is often corrupted and not directed to the One who alone deserves it. I hoped that the third post would bring our short journey to a close by providing some suggestions for what a teen is likely worshipping instead of God when they "just have a couple of beers," and then offering some ways to best help them see their need to have their worship reoriented. It was while thinging deeply about this third post that I realized that more needed to be said.

Teens like Rick need help, but not just any help will do. They need the kind of help that is biblically faithful. Anything else may be intended or even percieved as help but will not acheive lasting change. It's my belief that most of the help extended to teens is not the kind of help that honors God. Again, such "help" may be well intended, but good intentions will quickly morph into frustration when the end result we hoped for is not achieved. This is why I sensed the need to postpone my original 3rd post in order to write this post. In good conscience I can only suggest genuine help once I have exposed some of the more common examples of pseudo help.

How would you help someone like Rick? If you are like most parents or friends, your approach might center on attempting to help a teen struggling with alcohol to just stop drinking. If their teen were to simply stay away from alcohol most parents would say that their child's drinking problem was solved. The trouble with such thinking, however, is that the teen's real problem is spiritual not behavioral. Remember they are internally worshipping something and that is in turn producing their destructive behavior. Their idolatrous worship is their real problem not their idiotic behavior. Never attempt to only change the behavior of your teen or settle for only a behavioral change. Others may think that what such teens need is a change in the location. So many parents are under the false assumption that moving from one town or city to another is all their wayward teen needs. If they had new and better friends to hang out with and more constructive activities to engage in then shouldn't it naturally follow that a rebel would eventually become less rebellious? Can you guess the fundamental problem with this assumption? You're right, such action addresses behaviorial but not heart issues.

Parents and friends, if your son or daughter or good buddy is ravaging their body with alcohol please don't settle for temporary fixes like behavior modification or locational/social change. Actions, interests, friends, and even one's zip code can all change for the better without ever getting to the real problem of a teen's struggle with alcohol. Let's offer such teens what they really need and what will most make a lasting difference. In the fourth and final post, I will attempt to provide help toward this end.

Teens and Alcohol Part 1
Teens and Alcohol Part 2

A Small Gift To Fathers

For the fathers who may visit this blog I want to wish you all a most happy Father's Day. To my dad, Milton, and my father-in-law, Joe, I want to say in particular that I am more thankful for the two of you than I could ever express. Larissa and I were and are enormously fortunate to have you as dads. We hope you two, in particular, have a most blessed Father's Day.

As one father to many other fathers, I want to offer up a small gift to all of you. Included in this post is a list of books that will be helpful to you as you labor to fulfill your role as a husband and father. I have made comments on some of the following recommendations and some I have not. I did this primarily because I am more familiar with some of the books than I am with the others. However, all of the books are highly recommended. If a book happens to interest you simply click on the book info and you will be directed to a link where the book can be purchased. As you read and hopefully enjoy these books remember that the truths they espouse were not conjured up by their authors. Instead they were gleaned from God's precious and perfect word. Feast on and savor the Bible, first and foremost. It is here where you will find the best guidance for your marriage and your family. Then take up and read the books listed here. You will not be disappointed.

Each For The Other by Bryan Chapell

Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne Mack
This is an excellent book written by a seasoned husband, father, author, and biblical counselor. Mack is a very good writer -- throughly biblical and practical. Read this book with your wife and most definitely do not neglect his book recommendations or the helpful study guides at the end of each chapter.

The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott

Thoughts for Young Men by J. C. Ryle
Though written specifically for teenage boys, you would be foolish to think this book would not be helpful for you. Whether young or old, these thoughts will challenge you to be a man worthy to be so called.

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
This book is a classic! Much like Mack's work listed above, you should read this with your wife. Every page is full of sound wisdom for fathers (and mothers for that matter). Outside of scripture, I know of no book better able to guide parents in the most difficult but most important ministry they will ever have.

Don't Make Me Count To Three by Ginger Plowman
My wife loved this book. Though definitely written more for a mom than a dad, fathers do not overlook this book. Plowman has been heavily influenced by Tedd Tripp and Lou Priolo (two very wise and godly men). Read Tripp first but make Plowman a close second.

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp
Paul Tripp is one of my favorite authors. If you have teenagers in your home get this book and read it right away! If you have young children soon to be teenagers put this book on your reading list and do not neglect to read it.

Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande

Disciplines of a Godly Family by R. Kent Hughes and Barbara Hughes

Thoughts on Family Worship by J.W. Alexander
An excellent book by a 19th century pastor and seminary professor. Though it is an old book, it deals with subject matter that will never cease to be timely or important. I have no doubt that this book will spur you on to better more biblical leadership in your home.